To my astonishment, I currently have 4. whole. subscribers!
Cue intrusive imposter syndrome thoughts…
I mean, it was one thing when I was writing my random bullshit into the ever-living darkness of the internet, never to be seen.
But you, dear reader, are here! I’m so glad you are here! Thank you!
I’ll try my best to stay my own weird self now that I know your are watching. That is part of the motivation for the pen name. Every time I have tried online writing with even a little personal touch I freak out and get back to business only dry safe bullshit. Is writing under a pen name chicken shit? Probably. I’m just trying to find myself here, so don’t mind me.
I even have imposter syndrome at at work where I am quite accomplished, thank you very much. I eveb still feel like the fuckin weirdo as soon as I’m in a room full of people I don’t know. Or who I know to be smart, or pretty, or funny. Gah!
I think I started this little project because one constant in my life has been an itch to write. Maybe I’m not good at it. I’m certainly not trained at it. Not at least at the kind of writing people read for fun.
Every time I get little mental space to daydream end up obsessing about one of these
Writing country music lyrics (I’m not musical but I love me a good story song)
Writing novels
Writing my ‘thoughts’ (who am I to have a ‘thought’!)
For example after the election in 2016 I immediately started fantasizing about saving country music with my songs taking us back to the glory days of Patsy, Dolly, Tammy, Loretta, and Tanya. There was also my plan for a futuristic fantasy novel about a matriarchal society where women rule. The novel idea was very dark. But in my defense 2016 was a DARK time. Now, even if I had the chops the write a novel, I’m not currently pissed off enough to write that novel. Who knows what 2024 will bring.
Anyway… I’m grateful for all 4 of you!
It's nice to see you get excited about your subscribers. May your enthusiasm be contagious!
Also, Hello there!